Tuesday, April 26, 2011

adventures with my tongue


I have been a junk food eater for as long as I can remember.


I can easily pass up a piece of cake.  But give me salt and grease, and I am in pig-out heaven.


When I moved to Mexico, I was enthralled with the chili-lime flavor on snacks.  For the first month or so.  Then I really got tired of it.


I started looking for new ways to scratch my junk food itch.  And, as we learned in cheating with cheetos, it is hard to avoid the chili and lime conformism.


Hard, but not impossible.  Now and then I see something new at the checkout stand. 


Our cashiers are not surrounded with magazines featuring the shocking confessions of Michelle Obama and Brad Pitt.  We have lots of junk food.  The kind you eat, instead of the kind that eats the mind.


As I was leaving Walmart the other day, I saw two new flavors of Doritos.  I knew they were new because of the fancy black packaging and the gaudy neon yellow highlights around "NUEVO."


The first was labeled "Jalapeño Poppers."  The taste was easy to predict.  Cheese and jalapeños.  And I was correct. 


It was just "all right."  Nothing special.  Nor new.  There are similar snacks in the United States.


It was the second package that really caught my eye  And actually got me salivating. 

 
"Jocho."  I didn't know the Spanish word.  And no one around here knows it either.  But the icon indicates the flavor should be hot dog with mustard.  And the Spanish words for "hot dog flavor" are at the bottom of the package.


Let me stop there for a second.  I am not a big wiener fan.  Never have been.  I will eat a hot dog when I go to a baseball game for the same reason I eat escargot in France.  They seem to go together, and within those boundaries, they both taste good.


But I do not eat hot dogs anywhere else.  Even in Mexico, where you can find wiener parts in almost anything imaginable -- snacks, pizza.  I wouldn't be surprised if their is wiener flavored Jello.


So, I was a bit surprised that I had the Pavlovian response when I saw the package.


The good people at Frito-Lay (Sabritas down this way) were not misleading me.  One bite of the fiery orange chip exploded mustard and meat byproducts in my mouth.  For a moment, I was in Fenway Park.  But just a moment. 


Within seconds, the chip simply tasted like another artificially-flavored snack trying to be something it isn't.  And because I was not in Fenway Park, the wiener taste -- artificial or not -- was simply not very good.


I should quickly add -- that is good.  I do not need to find a substitute for my no-longer-lamented Snyder's pretzels.  I can simply do without.


Of course, I will find far too much junk to stick in my mouth on my upcoming cruise. -- in just another four days.

22 comments:

Francisco said...

I worked at Frito-Lay in 1974 for 10 months...in the chips dept. One would think I'd be tired of them but that's not the case. My favorite chips are a Detroit chip company named Better Made Est.in 1930, And they truly are. There was a great fringe benefit at Frito-Lay by the way, guys were out numbered at least ten to one!
Saludos,
Francisco

Felipe Zapata said...

You are a troubled man, Steve. You are not drawn to wieners? Your character is flawed. I love wieners. You can get great wieners on Pátzcuaro's Plaza Grande at night.

Steve Cotton said...

Not even I would be so low as to pun the company name with the gender-ratio. But the mix sounds as if it could be the same as the single male-single female ratio in San Miguel.

So, do you have a favorite flavor? Of chip, that is.

Steve Cotton said...

Maybe. If I could pretend the plaza was Fenway and JD Drew was at the plate.

But I thought you had gone vegetarian. Or is a hot dog so far removed from being a meat product that it is actually a vegetable?

tancho said...

The problem with those things is that you just can't eat just one.....

Steve Cotton said...

For me, that would be can't just eat one BAG.

NWexican and chips said...

What sandwich would one eat those chips with? Chips and sandwich usually go hand in hand but that one, hmmm

John Calypso said...

May have to try those - I agree with Felipe on the dogs issue - well we like veggie dogs being vegetarians. Veggie dogs are thus far impossible to find in Mexico (our parts). Loma Linda used to put out a can of veggie dogs which could have been nice to bring down from the U.S. - but alas they seem to no longer exist. Mustard and onions on a dog in a bun, veggie or otherwise, is just plain good!

Felipe Zapata said...

I'm no vegetarian, but I take care with what goes down the cake hole, and beef doesn't very often. Pork a bit. Fish some. Mostly chicken. And veggies every evening with a big salad. Junk food, hardly ever. I weigh what I did at age 21. Ha!

Jackieinpdx said...

I tried the cheeseburger Dorito's a couple of months ago at a nieces birthday party. They are really good.

Steve Cotton said...

Well, my tongue may agree with you more than my head. Something started those saliva glands running.

Steve Cotton said...

A nice tongue sandwich sounds like a good combination to me.

Steve Cotton said...

Chicken is by far my favorite protein. But I eat almost anything -- as we will soon see in a post.

Steve Cotton said...

I saw the cheeseburger flavor on the Fritos-Lay web site. But they do not appear to be down this way. Nor do the two flavors I bought at Walmart seem to be available NOB.

sparks said...

Poffets (popcorn) is the closest thing to real food and has plenty of salt and cheesy flavor. Problem is I often can't find them so Fritos are the next option. I've never seen a plain Frito here .... they are always flavored.

Are Fritos really deep fried cardboard?

Irene said...

Do you think they would have Chili-Cheese Fritos on a cruise ship?

ANM said...

You're being ironic again. Stop that!

ANM

Steve Cotton said...

Served on a hot diog bun with mustard, no less.

Steve Cotton said...

I buy my popcorn in bulk and pop it in my special kettle. It is my favorite treat down here.

Steve Cotton said...

I know the answer to that question. Not.

Actually, the cruise ship store has a very limited selection of snacks. Any snack foods I need will be purchased in Fort Lauderdale before I embark.

sparks said...

When I'm home I do the same. Just the out and about snacking with a beer do I buy the little bags of pre made

Steve Cotton said...

Pure class.