Sunday, May 29, 2011

improving my vocabulary


Now and then I think about writing a novel.  But who doesn’t?  We all think we have a Barbara Cartland hiding in our plummy prose.  Or, worse, a John Grisham.


Having a house on the laguna has proven to be a writer’s mother lode of raw material.  For almost any writing project.


When I returned to the house on Wednesday afternoon, I grabbed a rake and headed out to the laguna to see how much vegetation had grown back in my absence.  Other than a boom in water lily pads, everything was about where I left it a month ago.


While I was fishing out some water lettuce along the shoreline, a group of five or six young boys (I would guess around 8 years old or so) came along the pathway and stopped on the bank above me.


That is not unusual.  The sight of an old, overweight white guy with a gimpy leg mucking around in the marsh always seems to amuse the local kids.

 
Usually, the boys start a conversation about what I am doing and why I would be silly enough to do it.  But not this gang.  They just stood quietly behind and above me.


Then I heard giggling about the same time I heard the flow of water.  When I turned around, the boy who appeared to be the leader of this lot had his pants down and was trying to urinate on me.


Fortunately, he was not man enough to complete his mission.  Failing that attempt, he started waggling his boy wand at me while reciting a list of Spanish words not commonly used in the presence of mothers.


The other boys took their cue from him and joined in what must be the local version of mooning.


I would have chased them off.  But the best I could do in my position was bark at them and return to my work.  Having lost my attention, they wandered off with their underage Chippendale act.


Now that I think about it, I am not certain I would ever be able to use that incident in a novel.


So, it will have to do as a blog post.

22 comments:

brenda said...

Interesting, and how did this make you feel?  You could probably get at least several chapters out of that.  

Felipe Zapata said...

Jesus, man.

Steve Cotton said...

It was an interestesting return to Mexico.

Steve Cotton said...

The same group of boys reappeared yesterday and threw large rocks in the pond to destroy what was left of the crocodile eggs.  And then threw in whatever they could get their hands on -- including pomegranates from a tree near the shore. 

brenda said...

Sounds like these boys need a "little" parental intervention.

Steve Cotton said...

The "everything into the pond" syndrome seems to be a universal sport here -- for all ages and sexes.

Kirstengroener said...

Steve, your blog makes me feel really bad that these boys chose to disrespect you.  Now that you are their target I would watch your back and be careful.  

tancho said...

You could have started laughing at the tiny exposure, possibly creating a self esteem issue for the rest of his life........maybe not so bad of a punishment.

Joanne said...

Tancho, I like that.   When my daughter was about 14 she and I were at the family cottage by ourselves.  There were very few people at the lake.  There were a few middle aged men on the dock about 3 or 4 away from ours.   Two of them jumped in the water naked, climbed out and paraded around.  (What the * is wrong with men?!?)  Totally inappropriate around a teenage girl, never mind the somewhat public area of a boat dock on a lake in Canada.   So I loudly remarked (voices carry very well over water) on them displaying their shortcomings.  That got them covered up in a hurry.

Theresa Diaz said...

Here is your all purpose Spanish phrase for those sorts of situations. "Su familias deben estar muy orgullosos de ustedes."
Your families must be very proud of you.It's a nice slam on their lack of good upbringing.

regards,
Theresa

Theresa Diaz said...

That reminds me of what the little old lady said to the flasher as she peered nearsightedly "looks like a penis only smaller"...

regards,
Theresa

Steve Cotton said...

I am not worried. They are just little boys filed with mischief. I seem to remember being one myself -- in the distant past.

Steve Cotton said...

I considered it. But even that could have been misread.

Steve Cotton said...

It's a great line. I think David Niven used a similar one when a streaker ran onstage during the Academy Awards.

Steve Cotton said...

That one is going in the vocabulary file.

Steve Cotton said...

Nice.

Laurie Matherne said...

Do you know the phrase in Spanish, Que vale la pena? which means It's worth it. Change a word or two.  No vale la pen*? Good to recall in certain situations. 

LeslieLimon said...

"Underage Chippendale act."  Funny description, not so funny act by the little guys. 

Life on the laguna is definitely interesting.  Maybe you should start that novel.  :)  
 

Steve Cotton said...

Another phrase to go in the library.

Steve Cotton said...

It turns out my neighbor did not dump the eggs.  He has now built a barrier to keep the scoundrels off the little beach.  It appears The Boys may also be the egg snatchers.

Kim G said...

A good, hearty laugh, with perhaps a bit of pointing at their "boy wands," would likely have transcended any language barrier....and made them reluctant to take that particular show any farther.

Reminds me of when I was a sophomore in high school.  A pair of female friends were exposed to a flasher in a park, but (according to them) they burst into paroxysms of helpless laughter (as teenaged girls are wont to do), and the attacker, ego and other parts deflated, skulked off, never to be seen again.

Saludos,

Kim G
Boston, MA
Where we're thinking there's nothing typical about your adventures in Mexico....LOL

Steve Cotton said...

Laughing would probably not have worked. They showed up at my gate last night yelling (screaming would be a better word) the same list of colorful words. Adding one in English -- I assume for my benefit. I need to do something to resolve this before it escalates out of control.