Well, I am never going to get the part of Doctor Niles Crane if my kitchen counters look like this.
I am not a neat freak -- by any stretch of imagination. But the photograph at the top is this post is a bit over the top. Even for my kitchen.
As you may have guessed, there is a story buried somewhere in that pile.
Before I left on my cruise, I discovered something a bit unappetizing when I changed out one of my large water bottles. There were black oblong objects floating in the remains of the water.
Several options ran through my head. The first was that mice or the omnipresent geckos had been using my water dispenser as a toilet.
But that made little sense. Even though the space between the dispenser and the water bottle is not air tight, it is close.
A cursory look convinced me they were rodent turds. Probably in the bottom of an errant bottle that had not been thoroughly cleaned. Not to worry. Worse things show up in water around the world.
Today, I switched out my first bottle of water since I returned from Dubai. And, once again, there were the same black objects. But more. Five or six on my first discovery. Between twenty and thirty today.
This time I took a closer look with a magnifying glass. They were small insects of some sort. I checked the wall behind the water dispenser and discovered the culprits. Little beetles. Lots of them. Who had drowned while slaking their thirst.
And I knew immediately what they were. With their Cyrano snouts. Weevils. We had a bout with them at our house in Milwaukie when I was in grade school.
I knew the routine. I had to take everything out of the pantry. Food. Bags. Linens.
Almost immediately I discovered the source. A bag of popping corn and two boxes of spaghetti. The weevils had set up a colony and were reproducing like mad. Weevils make cockroaches look like childless Manhattanites.
Armed with bleach, Raid, and garbage bags, I picked my way through the food. The shelves came out for disinfecting. And I then laid down enough Raid to qualify for a reenactment of the second battle of Ypres.
Four hours after I sprayed, the weevils were still wandering out from their hiding places. And even with direct blasts of Raid, they seemed to be going on their merry way until my index finger directed them to insect hell.
I am going to wait a bit before I start putting things away. I want to be certain I have killed as many as I can. I will simply have to accept the fact that once the weevils have invaded, they will have the patience of a communist operative in a London art gallery.
And when I store my goods, I am going to do what I should have done earlier. I will put things such as beans and pasta in the freezer for a couple of days to freeze the bugs and eggs, and then repackage the food into airtight containers.
I thought I was going to escape the weevil terrorists. I knew better.
When everything is stored away, I can get back to auditioning my new anal retentive personality.