My friend Theresa over at What Do I Do All Day had a great idea. Let's all boycott daylight saving time!
It was a genius idea. Why participate in one of the silliest rituals of the year? We have lived long enough not to be pushed into the equivalent of wearing designer frames that make us look like a fat Elton John. (Oh? Right. That was redundant.)
Theresa suggested that we just live our lives on standard time -- and enjoy our natural cycles. Like battleships barreling their way through an armada of inconsequential row boats.
To a libertarian (like yours truly), the idea had sex appeal. I have never been very fond of beating my drum to someone else's tempo -- let alone setting my clocks to please some arbitrary standard.
So, I decided to sign up for the boycott. That is, until I realized I needed to be at church at 10 and at Easter dinner at 6.
Simple. I would leave my clock on standard time and show up at church at 9. Or would that be 11? 9. I know that.
After all, springing ahead, actually means moving back. That sentence alone contains the lack of logic of this bi-temporal switch.
I could do that. My bedstead clock remained unchanged.
But the Establishment got its pound of flesh. Bill Gates and Carlos Slim conspired during my sleep to move my computer and telephone clocks. As it turns out, other than rolling out of my royal sack, the only time pieces I use are on my laptop and mobile telephone.
Theresa, I tried. I wanted to be with you. But the Big Boys have dragged me off into complying with their silliness.
That may be just as well, people are starting to confuse me with Elton John. I may as well dress the part.