slugging down drugs

Here is a little life tip.  Listerine and prescription drugs are not a natural mix.


That bit of wisdom is for me; not for you.  Unless you would like to add it to your own account of Things I Should Have Known.  But I am certain none of you have done anything similar to what I did the other night.


I have a nightly routine before I slip my aging bones between the sheets.


There is a bottle of water on my bathroom counter -- for taking pills and brushing teeth.  A bottle of Listerine stands sentinel beside it.


The routine is simple.  I take my pills with a swig of water.  I then gargle and swish with the Listerine.  And I finish off with a frenzy of teeth brushing.


It is the habitual motion of a well-greased machine. Almost.


I must have slipped a cog on Monday night.  I tossed the pills in my mouth, grabbed a bottle, and gulped down the pills.


You have undoubtedly already figured out what happened.  Instead of the water, I swallowed the pills with Listerine.  A large gulp of it.


The back of the Listerine bottle is quite clear about warning against swallowing the contents.  It is not toxic.  But it certainly is not gastric-friendly.  As I was to discover the next morning.  (At least, I made it through the night without incident.)


I have been a regular Listerine user since my dental hygienist informed me it was a better course than trying to get the role of Bleeding Gums Murphy on The Simpsons. 


That is when I discovered the tanker truck Costco size of Listerine bottles.  In all kinds of flavors -- including my favorite, vanilla mint.


That luxury ended when I moved to Mexico.  Mouth wash is a rare find around here.  When I can find a bottle of Listerine, it is always small, in a generic flavor, and expensive.


But that is true for most imported products.  NAFTA has not completely removed the customs duty sting.  And because a bit of protectionism has managed to survive, even products produced under license in Mexico do not have a true market value.


I have found local (and cheaper) substitutes for a lot of my purchases down here.  It may be time to start looking for the Mexican equivalent of Listerine.


Until then, I will try not to waste any more of this liquid gold as a drug accessory.