Monday, November 30, 2015
moving to mexico -- your stuff
I do not like driving on snow or ice.
It is not a fear. I have only one fear, and that is not it.
The dislike stems from letting my driving skills go rusty. When I skied, I would regularly drive in the snow. And I was rather good at it. But those days are long gone.
Or so I thought. Our roads in Bend look a bit like scenes from Dr. Zhivago. Not the Moscow ballroom scenes. More like the winter dacha where Yuri and Lara resume their affair in ice-drenched salons.
I have dusted off my cold weather driving skills, and I have been enjoying re-learning the feeling of driving on a surface where I have next to no control. Just like life.
The time is drawing near when I will need to use those skills -- even if it is just as a backup driver. We are planning to leave Bend early Tuesday morning. Our route will subject us to about 200 miles of roads packed with snow and ice on the first leg of the trip. Darrel will be the primary pilot.
Yesterday afternoon I went back to the emergency room. I ran out of antibiotics. The cellulitis in my right ankle seems to be under control. But, to be certain, I saw medical advice.
In turn, I received five more days of antibiotics. And a clearance to travel -- as long as we stopped for frequent rest breaks. (Doctors do not read my essays about the Cotton School of Driving.)
The primary purpose of the trip north was to retrieve the goods I had left behind in my mothers garage when I headed south in the shiftless Escape -- back in early 2009. I have now sifted through those boxes. My sister-in-law suggested re-packing everything in plastic containers to save space.
I did just that. Books. Clothes. Kitchen items. Games. Things I did not need as a renter, but that will be useful as a home owner.
There is one task I have not yet accomplished -- completing a menaje: a detailed listing of each item in each box. Some people even include an estimated value. All of that is to ease the calculation of any duty that may be owed for bringing my personal belongings into Mexico.
I have decided against the full list. The plastic containers make it easy to see the contents. The only question is whether I will need to pay any duty. We will discover that when we cross the border at Lukeville -- later in the week.
It is turning out to be a good time in Bend. I have picked up my ice-driving skills. My health is back on an even keel. Darrel and I are ready to face another 2500 miles of adventure. And there may be a puppy at the end of all this.
What could be a better life?
Sunday, November 29, 2015
going to the dogs
I am about to become a Dad.
Actually, I am about to become a dog owner -- or to be owned by a dog. That is, if all goes well.
A golden retriever in Barra de Navidad had a litter of 9 pups on 14 September. They are now ready for their new homes. I understand the majority have taken up residence with their new owners. But at least one is still available.
When Professor Jiggs died (just over 6 years ago), I was unclear if I wanted another dog. At the time, I was traveling a lot, and that is not something to which I wanted to subject another dog. During Jiggs's young dog days, I spent a lot of time traveling on business. And Mexico is certainly not the most convenient country in which to travel with a dog. Especially, a big one.
But I have missed the companionship of a dog. During my morning walks, a lot of people bring their dogs along for the exercise. That image was enough for me to put "get a dog" back on my "to do" list.
So, let me introduce you to who may become my boon companion. He was born sixth among the nine.
I have already chosen a name for him. But you are going to have to wait for its unveiling. The name had to be Spanish -- or Spanish-ish. It is two names. The first has to do with what dogs do; the last describes his color. It even has a political significance.
However, there is no need to tell you the name until I have the dog in hand. That means getting back to Barra de Navidad -- which I hope we do soon.
Actually, I am about to become a dog owner -- or to be owned by a dog. That is, if all goes well.
A golden retriever in Barra de Navidad had a litter of 9 pups on 14 September. They are now ready for their new homes. I understand the majority have taken up residence with their new owners. But at least one is still available.
When Professor Jiggs died (just over 6 years ago), I was unclear if I wanted another dog. At the time, I was traveling a lot, and that is not something to which I wanted to subject another dog. During Jiggs's young dog days, I spent a lot of time traveling on business. And Mexico is certainly not the most convenient country in which to travel with a dog. Especially, a big one.
But I have missed the companionship of a dog. During my morning walks, a lot of people bring their dogs along for the exercise. That image was enough for me to put "get a dog" back on my "to do" list.
So, let me introduce you to who may become my boon companion. He was born sixth among the nine.
I have already chosen a name for him. But you are going to have to wait for its unveiling. The name had to be Spanish -- or Spanish-ish. It is two names. The first has to do with what dogs do; the last describes his color. It even has a political significance.
However, there is no need to tell you the name until I have the dog in hand. That means getting back to Barra de Navidad -- which I hope we do soon.
Thursday, November 26, 2015
thanks in a world of giving
Happy Thanksgiving. Whether you celebrate it on a conventional date or, as we do, whenever the mood strikes.
I have a lot to be thankful for this year. My health, even though I have undergone a few setbacks, has been good. I have friends who constantly add joy to my life (while I remember the friends who are now memories). And I have a great family, who has been with me through good and bad times during the year -- and who will be much nearer before the next year is out.
I thank God for providing all that.
Take a look at the photograph at the top of this essay. On their face, they are three "get well" cards. You have seen the one on the left (thinking of patti). It is from my friend Stephanie -- who I have known from the sixth grade.
The card in the middle is from my cousin Dennis. Of the seven cousins in our family, he is the closest in age to me -- and an occasional cruise partner.
The golden retriever card is from my friend Leo. You remember him. We have been friends since college. He visited me in Barra de Navidad in August, and added some new adventure to my life.
Some people would see those cards as mere pieces of stiff paper embossed with rank sentiment. Maybe they are.
But, to me, they are far more than that. The people who sent them took time from their schedules to pick out an appropriate card, to write me a note, and to then place it in the hands of a postman, They are physical representations of a bond that exists between giver and recipient. Between friend and friend.
So, Stephanie, Leo, and Dennis, I thank you. I am thankful for the relationships we have had over the years -- and for those to come.
And I am equally thankful to each of you who have sent me well wishes through comments on this blog, on Facebook, and email. It is almost worth having a few health maladies to receive what has been a very reassuring outpouring of love.
For all of that, I am thankful. But, most of all, I am thankful for my Mother, my brother Darrel, and my sister-in-law Christy, who I will be sharing a slice of bird with in a day or two.
I trust your day -- and year -- will be as blessed.
Wednesday, November 25, 2015
cashing in some memories
Memories are buried like treasures in our lives. And, often, in the most unlikely places.
This afternoon, I was rummaging through several months of medical bills to submit to my insurer. Due to the wide-spread use of thermal paper for receipts, two-thirds of the pharmacy bills will not be reimbursable. Even I have no idea what I purchased. They are lost memories.
I need to remember to scan them when I receive them.
But they are small potatoes. The ones where I could still read the totals added up to $3,224 (Mx) -- or about $195 (US). Dinner for twelve in Melaque or lunch for one in London.
While rifling through bills long paid, I ran across a type-written note. I knew immediately what it was. But it was an odd piece of paper to slip into my financial work.
When my brother visited in October of 2014, he told me the bathroom in his room presented a slipping hazard. Water from the shower dampens the ceramic tile on the floor, and a fat, white boy like him could easily be injured.
The note is from my friend-sister Patti who died two months ago. When I last saw her before I left on my trip to China, I must have mentioned the bathroom floors had safety problems -- in the eyes of some.
Several weeks later, a package arrived from Olympia. The contents? Four bath mats. Two gray. Two black. A perfect match for the evolving look in the house with no name.
I remember chuckling when I opened the box. The cost of shipping bath mats to Mexico was expensive -- certainly more than the cost of the mats. But that is the type of person she was. Her friend had a problem; she was going to help set it right.
I was going to excerpt what she wrote. But let me give the floor to her in her own words:
But why did I save that little note? Her death was not imminent. In fact, it appeared she was regaining strength.
And it certainly was not because I am sentimental. I usually do not save anything for its sentimental value. If it does not have a current utility, out it goes.
Maybe that's it. I knew the note would have utility. Because it brought back fresh memories of Patti's kindness, thoughtfulness, and ability to put herself second to others. In other words, the very virtues that make true friends.
I have now transferred the note from the financial documents pile to a folder containing items that trigger similar memories concerning others. Its contents will be my secret. For now. After all, nothing remains secret for long in the land of Mexpatriate.
And that may have been the cheapest hook I have ever written.
This afternoon, I was rummaging through several months of medical bills to submit to my insurer. Due to the wide-spread use of thermal paper for receipts, two-thirds of the pharmacy bills will not be reimbursable. Even I have no idea what I purchased. They are lost memories.
I need to remember to scan them when I receive them.
But they are small potatoes. The ones where I could still read the totals added up to $3,224 (Mx) -- or about $195 (US). Dinner for twelve in Melaque or lunch for one in London.
While rifling through bills long paid, I ran across a type-written note. I knew immediately what it was. But it was an odd piece of paper to slip into my financial work.
When my brother visited in October of 2014, he told me the bathroom in his room presented a slipping hazard. Water from the shower dampens the ceramic tile on the floor, and a fat, white boy like him could easily be injured.
The note is from my friend-sister Patti who died two months ago. When I last saw her before I left on my trip to China, I must have mentioned the bathroom floors had safety problems -- in the eyes of some.
Several weeks later, a package arrived from Olympia. The contents? Four bath mats. Two gray. Two black. A perfect match for the evolving look in the house with no name.
I remember chuckling when I opened the box. The cost of shipping bath mats to Mexico was expensive -- certainly more than the cost of the mats. But that is the type of person she was. Her friend had a problem; she was going to help set it right.
I was going to excerpt what she wrote. But let me give the floor to her in her own words:
Hi Steve --I immediately put the bath mats to good use. And Patti was correct -- as she almost always was with her practical tips. The mats work perfectly.
Just wanted to get these off to you -- you may not get them until you return from China, but who knows? When you were here, you mentioned an issue with the showers -- water splashes into the main part of the bath on occasion. I think a good old-fashioned bath mat may be the solution -- you can launder it like a towel, it dries quickly (unlike a rug) and it can be hung up. If that doesn't work for you, at least we tried!
Have a wonderful cruise, dear friend.
Love, Patti.
But why did I save that little note? Her death was not imminent. In fact, it appeared she was regaining strength.
And it certainly was not because I am sentimental. I usually do not save anything for its sentimental value. If it does not have a current utility, out it goes.
Maybe that's it. I knew the note would have utility. Because it brought back fresh memories of Patti's kindness, thoughtfulness, and ability to put herself second to others. In other words, the very virtues that make true friends.
I have now transferred the note from the financial documents pile to a folder containing items that trigger similar memories concerning others. Its contents will be my secret. For now. After all, nothing remains secret for long in the land of Mexpatriate.
And that may have been the cheapest hook I have ever written.
Tuesday, November 24, 2015
not driving in a winter wonderland
I love surprises.
Even the one we received from Jack Frost this morning.
My dislike of driving in the snow has been a topic on these pages before. That dislike is exacerbated by the fact that my current Escape is not 4-wheel drive. That was not an option in Mexico for 2013 Escapes.
Usually, that would not matter. Unless I wanted to take up off-road racing (a thought that has sauntered through my Walter Mitty imagination more than once), I have no need for 4-wheel drive in Mexico. But it matters now that winter has invaded the Cascades and Siskiyous.
There are two major routes to return to Mexico. Down I-5 through California -- or through Nevada. The I-5 option includes driving through both the Cascades and the Siskiyous. The Nevada option includes both mountains and expanses of high desert that have already received a fair amount of snow.
It is far too early to talk about our route options. Weather conditions tend to change day by day, and we are nowhere ready to leave.
I need to shake off my cellulitis and the remnants of a rough cold. Darrel is still in the midst of his cold. We are probably a week away from driving on health issues alone.
Then there is the SUV. The ABS warning light came on in Puerto Vallarta. Darrel and I suspected the used tire we bought (which was slightly a different size than the other three) had thrown off the sensor. After buying new tires here, I took it into the Ford dealership to reset the light. No go.
The mechanic said he could fit us in at the end of next week. But he could not guarantee a completion date if a part needed to be ordered. The fact that the Escape was built in Kentucky for sale only in Mexico was a potential complicating factor. The dealership in Bend does not get many Mexican-licensed vehicles.
So, we will wait on the ABS warning light until I can get it to the Manzanillo Ford dealership. After all, we drove both ways across Baja -- including some racing terrain -- with a failed brake cylinder, using only the hand brake in a Meyers Manx (calling stirling moss). Life always offers options.
And options we still have. Because I have been fighting the cold and cellulitis, I have not started inventorying what I can take back with me from my mother's garage. A quick look has made clear that it will not be everything. Maybe tomorrow.
The surprise I would like to see next is a weather envelope at the start of next week a day or two after Darrel is fully recovered from his cold. We can then make a reasonable drive south.
I wonder if we can do it in two days?*
* -- The printed word often disguises what would have been an Oscar Wildeian tone on that last sentence.
Monday, November 23, 2015
on the first day of -- thanksgiving
The Cotton Thanksgiving Marathon is off and running.
I have mentioned before that our family seldom celebrates holidays on the day someone in authority decided we should. Not because we have authority issues. Well, not entirely.
Our traditional excuse for non-traditional behavior is that our respective schedules precluded getting together on what I will call "normal people days." That sounds good until you realize we are talking about merely four people.
Today was ham. We will save the turkey for either Friday or Saturday. And then we will talk about a departure date south.
That date may have just moved into December. In one more time, I informed you my right leg has taken on the symptoms my left leg suffered last September. There have been developments -- as you can see in the photograph. Not all of them good.
I wanted to get ahead of the infection curve this time. Before I left Olympia on Thursday, Ken took me to an urgent care clinic. The receptionist was very helpful until she asked for my insurance card.
I whipped out my Medicare credentials along with my Air Force card declaring me one of the great retired. She sheepishly informed me the clinic could not accept Medicare or Tri-Care patients -- in a military town.
Because I wanted to start the inevitable antibiotic regime I knew was coming, I told her I was willing to pay cash for the services -- knowing full well I was writing a blank check to the clinic. The receptionist saved me from my hubris. The clinic cannot provide service for cash.
Flabbergasted, I headed south on the train to Salem. My first stop was the Salem Clinic -- where Medicare and Tri-Care are happily accepted.
The doctor's diagnosis? Cellulitis. He gave me a prescription for two antibiotics, injected my butt with a third, and sent me on my way. My way turned out to be worsened cellulitis.
Yesterday I stopped at the emergency room in Bend's St. Charles Hospital. That was a very reluctant decision. My last visit in 2014 did not commend the place to me. Hours of tests and prodding left me discharged with the same high blood pressure that took me there. (good news -- bad news) Not to mention the nurse who mistook me for her 8-year old son -- or husband -- and lectured me accordingly.
But in I went. Whatever my misgivings were, everything operated smoothly. I was admitted even before anyone saw my insurance cards. The doctor actually listened carefully to my recitation of the facts, and concurred with the Salem doctor. Cellulitis. My medications were adequate -- with an additional injection.
All in all, one of the most pleasant medical experiences I have had in the United States.
Now, I rest and watch and wait. The infection seems to be holding in place. And, for now, that is all I can do. I do know I look forward to getting off of antibiotics; I have been on some variety almost continuously since late August.
As soon as my cold and the cellulitis let up, we will be on our way south to Mexico. Whenever that is. After all, the Cotton Boys -- and Girls -- are not well-known for their plans.
Thursday, November 19, 2015
one more time
One thing I miss in Mexico is an efficient banking system.
Oh, there are banks. Plenty of them. Even though there is only one in Melaque -- a Banamex.
But efficient it is not. When I changed the address on my bank account a couple of months ago, it took over an hour of paper processing that would have made an Italian immigration official proud. In The States I could perform the same transaction in minutes on my computer at home.
I thought of that experience this morning in Olympia as I wrapped up my visit with Ken. I needed to transfer a small amount of money from my account to a friend's account in Reno.
Seven years in Mexico has made me dread walking through the door of a bank. Lost time. Frustration. Disappointment. All rolled into one emotional bundle.
The clerk turned out to be from Acapulco. We chatted a bit about Mexico. I then told her what I wanted to do. Simple, she said. I withdrew the money from my account electronically. She then deposited it in my friend's account in Reno. Total time: about six minutes.
A chat and a quick transfer of money. A perfect example of how customer service should work.
I am currently on an Amtrak train on my way to Salem. When I arrive there, I am off to a clinic to determine if the American medical system can perform as well as the banking system.
During the drive up from Mexico, I developed a cold. A rather nasty one with lung congestion, headaches, and sore muscles. I ended up staying in bed for most of my visit with Ken in Olympia.
This morning I woke up with pain in my right ankle. I immediately recognized what it was. That is how the "infection" in my left leg started back in August. And, sure enough, the skin around my ankle has the same red appearance.
So, I will be off to a clinic to see if an American doctor has any more luck in diagnosing my condition than did my Mexican doctors. I suspect I know the answer to that question.
And that is why I miss some things about living in Oregon. Others, not so much.
Tuesday, November 17, 2015
a moses moment
I am a stranger in a strange land.
Each trip north, I find it more difficult to slip unobtrusively back into my American identity. Some of that is good. Some is bad.
Driving within orderly strictures up north feels far too confining to me. Mexico has freed my inner Andretti.
And everyone here seems to be so distracted by their pressing busy-ness that they are not aware of their current surroundings. That is the only way I can explain the higgledy-piggledy method of allowing shopping carts to clutter shopping aisles while the driver wanders aimlessly amongst the cans and jars.
But the shopping is good. I can always count on Best Buy or Safeway or Walmart having what I need -- and a clerk who will actually joyously assist me in finding it. America understands that customer service and a consumer-driven economy have a symbiotic relationship. Like a shark and a remora.
And the king of that odd marriage is Les Schwab Tire Center. You may recall that one tire on my Escape was just waiting to hurtle Darrel and me into the archives of tire blowout deaths.
Rather than accept that honor, we replaced it in Melaque with a used tire that had enough life left in it to make the 2500 mile drive to Bend. It worked perfectly -- even though the Escape kept flashing that its ABS system was not functioning. But who needs brakes in Mexico?
This morning, I dropped off the Escape at Les Schwab to line up with a crowd fearful of the onset of snows. I would have been one of them. I hate driving in snow -- whether or not I have the appropriate equipment. It is one reason I live on a tropical beach.
Because the parking lot was full, I left the SUV (and about one thousand dollars) with the good people at Schwab. They were to call when I was fully outfitted. I suspected that would be a day or two based on the crowd.
Darrel then drove me to the Redmnd airport about an hour ago. While on our way, the tire center called. The Escape was ready. He will pick it up for me.
He will pick it up because I am heading north for a couple of days to visit my friend Ken. I was unable to come north for Patti's funeral -- due to the swelling in my left leg. It should be a bittersweet reunion. But one I am looking forward to. I will then jump a train and head to Oregon later in the week.
Last night we briefly watched what passes for "the news" these days. The political coverage is bad enough. But even the tone on the act of war perpetrated by ISIS in Paris sounded as if it had been written by the Entertainment Tonight staff. I certainly do not miss that in Mexico.
The best reason for coming north is to visit family and friends. Even the shopping trips have lost their allure. And the rest is merely a good reason to get back home as soon as possible.
And I will. Soon. As soon as the notion gets so strong I can no longer stay.
Sunday, November 15, 2015
bend it like cotton
It is done. I have returned. The eagle has landed.
Choose your own hoary cliché. After 2500 miles of driving in three days, the Cotton Boys are in Bend. You can accomplish a lot when unencumbered by a plan.
When we left Arizona yesterday morning, we thought we might split the remainder of the trip into two segments. Gila Bend marked the half-way point. If it took two days to get through Mexico, we were ready to concede that we would need two days to drive through Arizona, California, and Oregon.
Those of you who know western roads are probably asking why we were crazy enough to drive through California when transiting Nevada would seem to be the most logical choice. And shooting through Las Vegas and Reno would have the bonus of giving me an opportunity to visit the state of my legal residence.
It is a good question. And the answer can be summed up in one word. Snow.
I had initially considered making the drive in September. But circumstances intervened. That left Darrel and me heading north on the shoulder of the western snow season. I hate driving in snow. Darrel is very good at the task. I am not.
So, we skirted Nevada -- which had already had snow on the ground. While stalled in traffic in San Bernadino, we checked the weather. A storm front was making it way toward the Siskiyous and Cascades. Right across our flight path.
Thus was born the idea of a 17-hour drive to arrive in Bend late on Saturday. And we did. I drove Arizona and Oregon; Darrel drove California (with its atrociously-maintained I-5).
The best scenery in Oregon and northern California was in the dark. What could have been stunning views turned into a boring drive. But we succeeded.
For me, the most interesting sights were the signs posted by farmers attempting to retain their access to water during California's drought. I had seen them on earlier visits -- mainly blaming Nancy Pelosi when she was a power broker. Now, they simply bewail the amorphously-labeled "Congress."
Government cronyism has created part of the problem. Nature has provided the rest. My libertarian response might resolve the first part of the equation, but it can do nothing about the second. It is futile to attempt to regulate either Mother Nature or the economy. At least, without suffering adverse and unexpected consequences.
So, here I am in Bend to pick up boxes I have stored in my mother's garage the last few years. I will perform another triage (the first was when I moved the boxes from the sale of the Salem house). Some items will go to Goodwill, some to the dump, and some to Mexico.
And when will Darrel and I make the return trip? Probably, after we celebrate Thanksgiving dinner on some day other than Thanksgiving.
But that is starting to sound like a plan, and that is not the Cotton way.
Friday, November 13, 2015
down and out above the border
Despite its reputation, we escaped from Culiacán this morning unscathed.
Darrel announced that it was about as anti-climactic as leaving Detroit in one piece. Promises of mayhem almost always go unmet.
Instead, we were up before the sun to head off through the remainder of our road trip through northern Mexico. I often hear Mexicans, from further south in the country, referring to northern Mexicans as being hybrids between Mexico and The States.
I do not know about that. But the north has long been culturally different from Mexican lands to the south.
The north is one of the areas where the Apaches and Comanches limited the northern expansion of Spanish and Mexican settlement. That is one reason the Mexican government invited American settlers into Texas. Of course, that did not end well for Mexico -- with its defeat in the inevitable Mexican-American war.
But what remained of the northern area of Mexico proved to be a volatile mix for the country. It is where mestizos came to find a less-hierarchical life. They built the Mexican cowboy culture -- a culture that was adopted by cowboys north of the Rio Bravo.
And, being free of Mexico City's cultural (and, often, political) grasp, the northerners built their own view of their region. Very similar to what would be known as Whigs -- the country party -- in England. Distrustful of central authority. Willing to gauge a man by his talents, rather than his birth.
It is one reason many northern Mexicans see narco lords as modern day Robin Hoods -- gathering wealth and sharing it with their community. And then celebrating them in song. One of the best examples is, of course, Culiacán itself.
But we did not stick around long enough to determine if all of that is merely another Mexican myth. Instead, we spent the day driving through the fields and deserts of Sinaloa and Sonora. As well as the state capital of Hermosillo -- with its bustling traffic that rivals Los Angeles in its quest -- for whatever such people seek.
Most of our Sonora drive (from Santa Ana to the border at Sonoyta) was in the dark. I am not fond of driving in the dark -- whether in Mexico or elsewhere. It is usually as boring as night flights. And the drive was a bit frustrating because I know how stunning the scenery can be on that drive.
But this is a Cotton Boy road trip. We like to stretch our destination points as far from our departures as we can.
In this case, we are spending the night in Gila Bend, Arizona at the Space Age Lodge. It is not our first time here. Professor Jiggs, Darrel, and I spent a night here in 2009 (racing arizona). And nothing has changed. It is still over-priced (costing more than the Best Western across the street from Disneyland). But for two tired vagabonds, the room is adequate enough to recharge for another long day heading further north.
And that is not bad for a situation comedy episode.
Thursday, November 12, 2015
another opening, another show
I have been written out of one situation comedy episode and into another.
Three months ago I took my first walk on our local exercise path. In anger and in the dark. That walk resulted in my decision to cut back on my Mexpatriate publication schedule. The background on that is not very interesting.
The memory of that trek into mild madness came back to me this morning. My excuse for cutting back on writing was to free up time for exercise and studying Spanish. I have done both -- even though I have been far more conscientious and constant about one than the other.
I was walking at 5 AM because my brother Darrel and I were leaving early on our drive to Oregon. That is the cover story. He flew down to extract me from the delinquencies of my mind that have entertained me for the past few months.
And so we are off. We never travel with a plan. The only consistent rule we have is that we do not stop except for necessities -- gas, food, urination. And, then, only briefly. For us, a road trip is a means to go from Point A (where we are) to Point B (even though we may have only a vague idea where that is). It is a gene we inherited from our Dear Old Pa. My mother has stories.
Every road trip has its tales. And this one is no exception. But I will warn you, those of you with sensitive sensibilities should just skip the next seven paragraphs.
The downside of Cotton brief stops is that all business is not entirely completed before we start rolling down the road. The toll road from Tepic to Mazatlan is relatively new. As a result, Pemex has not opened as many gas stations as it has on some of the older roads in Mexico. That means limited access to bathrooms.
Combine long distances with a 66 year-old bladder, and there are bound to be moments of discomfort. Well, there were.
I drove the first leg from Bara de Navidad to Tepic -- with my brother repeatedly imploring: “Put me in, coach.” I did not take it as social commentary on my rather brisk method of putting Barra far behind us.
I eventually did put him in the game. At Tepic.
That turned me from being the controlling brother to be being the passenger brother. Or, rather, the brother who had to rest his swollen left foot -- caused by sitting for too long. Somewhere in northern Nayarit, nature put in an emergency call to my bladder.
Stopping beside the road was out of the question. The toll road was filled with trucks driving on the shoulders. But, being an ingenious guy, I put an empty Coke Light bottle to good use. Over the years, I have developed a leak-proof strategy for relief while driving.
But all calls are not equal. In the middle of my impromptu performance, the in-dash telephone rang. Fortunately, I was able to put one call on hold while I answered the other. It was my good friend Lou, who had called me accidentally. Before Kim asks: No, I did not tell him he had piss-poor timing.
And that is how road trips go. Some people make periodic stops to see the sights. Darrel and I simply like entertaining ourselves as circumstances allow. While we are on the roll. He is a noble and witty sparring partner.
At one of the toll booths, Darrel chuckled that between airfare, gasoline, tolls, hotel rooms, and meals, I could easily have bought all of the items we are going to drag back to Barra de Navidad from my brother’s garage later in the month. Several times over.
He, of course, is correct. But irrelevant.
We are making the trip because we enjoy each other’s company. After all, if I had stayed at home in Barra de Navidad, I wouldn’t have anything interesting to share with you. Well, I would have a lot of interesting things happening, but I couldn’t share them with you.
At Tepic, we discussed the possibility of spending the night in Mazatlán. But we had plenty of sunlight left when we drove past the city where my father had talked of retiring.
So, on we drove to Culiacán -- arriving in the dark, with reservations at the City Express Hotel. And, yes, I know the city’s history.
Where will we stay tomorrow night? If you don’t know the answer to that, you might want to reread the fifth paragraph.
We will see you there. Wherever it is.
Maybe north of the border. Maybe not.
Three months ago I took my first walk on our local exercise path. In anger and in the dark. That walk resulted in my decision to cut back on my Mexpatriate publication schedule. The background on that is not very interesting.
The memory of that trek into mild madness came back to me this morning. My excuse for cutting back on writing was to free up time for exercise and studying Spanish. I have done both -- even though I have been far more conscientious and constant about one than the other.
I was walking at 5 AM because my brother Darrel and I were leaving early on our drive to Oregon. That is the cover story. He flew down to extract me from the delinquencies of my mind that have entertained me for the past few months.
And so we are off. We never travel with a plan. The only consistent rule we have is that we do not stop except for necessities -- gas, food, urination. And, then, only briefly. For us, a road trip is a means to go from Point A (where we are) to Point B (even though we may have only a vague idea where that is). It is a gene we inherited from our Dear Old Pa. My mother has stories.
Every road trip has its tales. And this one is no exception. But I will warn you, those of you with sensitive sensibilities should just skip the next seven paragraphs.
The downside of Cotton brief stops is that all business is not entirely completed before we start rolling down the road. The toll road from Tepic to Mazatlan is relatively new. As a result, Pemex has not opened as many gas stations as it has on some of the older roads in Mexico. That means limited access to bathrooms.
Combine long distances with a 66 year-old bladder, and there are bound to be moments of discomfort. Well, there were.
I drove the first leg from Bara de Navidad to Tepic -- with my brother repeatedly imploring: “Put me in, coach.” I did not take it as social commentary on my rather brisk method of putting Barra far behind us.
I eventually did put him in the game. At Tepic.
That turned me from being the controlling brother to be being the passenger brother. Or, rather, the brother who had to rest his swollen left foot -- caused by sitting for too long. Somewhere in northern Nayarit, nature put in an emergency call to my bladder.
Stopping beside the road was out of the question. The toll road was filled with trucks driving on the shoulders. But, being an ingenious guy, I put an empty Coke Light bottle to good use. Over the years, I have developed a leak-proof strategy for relief while driving.
But all calls are not equal. In the middle of my impromptu performance, the in-dash telephone rang. Fortunately, I was able to put one call on hold while I answered the other. It was my good friend Lou, who had called me accidentally. Before Kim asks: No, I did not tell him he had piss-poor timing.
And that is how road trips go. Some people make periodic stops to see the sights. Darrel and I simply like entertaining ourselves as circumstances allow. While we are on the roll. He is a noble and witty sparring partner.
At one of the toll booths, Darrel chuckled that between airfare, gasoline, tolls, hotel rooms, and meals, I could easily have bought all of the items we are going to drag back to Barra de Navidad from my brother’s garage later in the month. Several times over.
He, of course, is correct. But irrelevant.
We are making the trip because we enjoy each other’s company. After all, if I had stayed at home in Barra de Navidad, I wouldn’t have anything interesting to share with you. Well, I would have a lot of interesting things happening, but I couldn’t share them with you.
At Tepic, we discussed the possibility of spending the night in Mazatlán. But we had plenty of sunlight left when we drove past the city where my father had talked of retiring.
So, on we drove to Culiacán -- arriving in the dark, with reservations at the City Express Hotel. And, yes, I know the city’s history.
Where will we stay tomorrow night? If you don’t know the answer to that, you might want to reread the fifth paragraph.
We will see you there. Wherever it is.
Maybe north of the border. Maybe not.
Sunday, November 08, 2015
slipping into reruns
A regular cast member has returned to this situation comedy we know as Mexpatriate.
My brother Darrel. Or, as the Bob Newharts amongst you would have it -- my other brother Darrel.
He flew in on Saturday afternoon for a specific mission. He is going to join me on a road trip from Barra de Navidad to Bend, Oregon. I have several boxes in my mother's garage the contents of which would be better served in the house with no name.
Books. Clothes. Kitchen goods. Dining accessories. All of which had little or no value to me as a renter, but most can immediately be put to service in my role as a homeowner.
Could I live without them? Sure. Could I simply have them shipped to Mexico? Of course. But they make a great excuse for me to spend more time with my brother.
It has been far too long since we spent time together -- and the last time resulted in us taking a long desert hike where I eventually lost the nail on my right great toe. Ah, the good times.
As in most Cotton productions, there are no plans. We don't know when we are leaving. We have no idea of our route. One morning we will get up and decide that is the day. We will point the Escape north and be on our way.
And what about that photograph at the top of this essay? When Darrel and Christie were here last year, the Escape had a flat on the way from the airport. Yesterday, it happened again. This time it was merely a small meta screw. But quite effective in stopping the beast I drive.
Driving on our local roads is similar to plowing through a construction site. All four of the Escape's tires have now been subjected to quick fixes for leaks.
My intentions were to buy a new set of tires in Oregon -- if only because they cost less. But I currently have one tire that has a bulge in the sidewall and a crack in the bead. It may not survive the drive north.
But all of that will be for future episodes. For now, simply welcome our new cast member. My only gripe is that he always get the great lines. I need to take a meeting with the writers.
Monday, November 02, 2015
missing in action
While leaving Ozzie's apartment yesterday, we noticed a young man talking with the owner of the Red Lobster restaurant in Villa Obregón. The young man was wearing a Telmex shirt.
It was the logo on the shirt that mattered to both of us. Over a week ago, I drove Ozzie to the Telmex office in Manzanillo to sign him up for a telephone line and internet. The very efficient woman who took the order told him he would have a working internet connection by the end of the week.
Well, a certain hurricane and a subsequent flood put paid to that promise. Of course, the connection does not yet exist.
I have my own complaints with Telmex. Eleven days after the storm and I am still without telephone or internet.
Ozzie wanted to stop the guy in the Telmex shirt. I thought it was an exercise in futility. He was obviously a salesman -- with a chart of Telmex's internet service packages in his right hand. Sending a salesman into a neighborhood that still lacks telephone service struck me as the equivalent of sending a David Duke canvasser into Harlem.
But Ozzie asked. The young man appeared to have been well-briefed. Yes, he was just selling internet packages, but he knew new installations would not occur for at least ten more days -- not until current subscribers had their service restored. He was even aware my neighborhood in the barrio was without service.
So, it appears that I will be posting the occasional errant message thanks to the good graces of either Rooster's or Papa Gallo's. It is Papa Gallo's today.
I currently have over 2000 messages in my email inbox. For those of you awaiting responses, I promise to get to the as soon as Carlos Slim deigns I am worthy of his internet services.
It was the logo on the shirt that mattered to both of us. Over a week ago, I drove Ozzie to the Telmex office in Manzanillo to sign him up for a telephone line and internet. The very efficient woman who took the order told him he would have a working internet connection by the end of the week.
Well, a certain hurricane and a subsequent flood put paid to that promise. Of course, the connection does not yet exist.
I have my own complaints with Telmex. Eleven days after the storm and I am still without telephone or internet.
Ozzie wanted to stop the guy in the Telmex shirt. I thought it was an exercise in futility. He was obviously a salesman -- with a chart of Telmex's internet service packages in his right hand. Sending a salesman into a neighborhood that still lacks telephone service struck me as the equivalent of sending a David Duke canvasser into Harlem.
But Ozzie asked. The young man appeared to have been well-briefed. Yes, he was just selling internet packages, but he knew new installations would not occur for at least ten more days -- not until current subscribers had their service restored. He was even aware my neighborhood in the barrio was without service.
So, it appears that I will be posting the occasional errant message thanks to the good graces of either Rooster's or Papa Gallo's. It is Papa Gallo's today.
I currently have over 2000 messages in my email inbox. For those of you awaiting responses, I promise to get to the as soon as Carlos Slim deigns I am worthy of his internet services.