Pull out those voodoo pins.
For all of you expatriates who were disappointed that Radio Shack had decided to pull out of the partnership with the Mexican newspaper to distribute anti-American soccer voodoo dolls, you can breathe a sigh of relief.
Cease your dealings with those back alley Santeria grandmas.
You can get the real thing by marching down the street to your local Blockbuster Video to rent the latest American Pie video -- and get yourself a genuine voodoo doll -- just like the one we discussed in a pin in your football.
And note the instructions: "Hold a needle firmly between your thumb and index finger and prick slowly the part of the doll where you want to affect the opponent." (I think one of my ex- girlfriends had a similar technique.)
Apparently what a Fort Worth-based corporation is afraid to do, a Dallas-based corporation will. What is in the water up there in Texas? Next thing we know, the Alamo will be handed over to the Santa Ana family with a sincere apology.
But what if those dolls do not work?
Have no fear, I just read that Congress is coming to the rescue. If Texas is wlling to offer an open hand to Mexico, the political successors of President Polk are ready to do the same.
According to my Washington sources, Representative Carmen Tonto de Abril (R-CA) has received unanimous consent to amend the economic stimulus bill to provide a subsidy to the Mexican fútbol team to guarantee just enough points to win this Wednesday’s match.
When a reporter pointed out that the subsidy would not be effective until 1 April, and the game is just two days away, Representative Tonto de Abril responded: “That’s OK. Who knows if any of this is going to work?”
She then added: “You haven’t seen the last of Tonto de Abril.”
For all of you expatriates who were disappointed that Radio Shack had decided to pull out of the partnership with the Mexican newspaper to distribute anti-American soccer voodoo dolls, you can breathe a sigh of relief.
Cease your dealings with those back alley Santeria grandmas.
You can get the real thing by marching down the street to your local Blockbuster Video to rent the latest American Pie video -- and get yourself a genuine voodoo doll -- just like the one we discussed in a pin in your football.
And note the instructions: "Hold a needle firmly between your thumb and index finger and prick slowly the part of the doll where you want to affect the opponent." (I think one of my ex- girlfriends had a similar technique.)
Apparently what a Fort Worth-based corporation is afraid to do, a Dallas-based corporation will. What is in the water up there in Texas? Next thing we know, the Alamo will be handed over to the Santa Ana family with a sincere apology.
But what if those dolls do not work?
Have no fear, I just read that Congress is coming to the rescue. If Texas is wlling to offer an open hand to Mexico, the political successors of President Polk are ready to do the same.
According to my Washington sources, Representative Carmen Tonto de Abril (R-CA) has received unanimous consent to amend the economic stimulus bill to provide a subsidy to the Mexican fútbol team to guarantee just enough points to win this Wednesday’s match.
When a reporter pointed out that the subsidy would not be effective until 1 April, and the game is just two days away, Representative Tonto de Abril responded: “That’s OK. Who knows if any of this is going to work?”
She then added: “You haven’t seen the last of Tonto de Abril.”
tonto de abril? did you come up with that all by yourself? snicker
ReplyDeleteregards,
Theresa
Voodoo huh? Hmmm....I just bought a rag doll that is void of embellishments and she/he just lays there waiting for me to put some clothes on, do a face, etc...Hmmm voodoo huh.lol Sorry Steve I'm not laughing at you, just at the thought of whose face I can paint on that doll, just in case. Have a great Monday.
ReplyDeleteTheresa -- I was afraid I was going to either be too subtle or too transparent. Maybe I hit it just right.
ReplyDeleteGloria -- Take mine. That 7th grade picture would be a good candidate for a voodoo doll. Maybe an approriately placed pen would speed up my retirement date.
lolololol...your funny, take care.
ReplyDelete