pulling on the versatility chain

Bernie Madoff must have come up with one final scheme before being trundled off to white collar confinement.


The Versatility Blogger Award.


Here is how it works.  A blogger will nominate a fellow blogger for the award.  More on the number nominated in a moment.  But the criteria for nomination seem to be a bit vague.


It is an award, so we can assume that the nominator finds something interesting in the nominated blogs. 


And there is reference to versatility, so we can also assume the blogs should show some form of flexibility.  Unless, it is an inside joke and the adjective modifies the second noun, rather than the first.  Sardonic irony in a postmodern world.


Well, I am a nominee.  My pal blogger, Kelly, over at A Canuck in Cancun, saw fit to nominate me for the award.  I thank her.  I think.


A couple of years ago, fellow blogger Felipe tried a little experiment.  He wrote about the obviously false statistic that there are one million Americans (or foreigners or left-handed dwarfs -- take your pick) living in Mexico.  He then made up an equally false number and posted it on his blog to see if it gained currency on the internet.  It did.


In that spirit, I accept this award.


The rules are simple.  If nominated, the nominee must tell seven things that readers may not know about the blogger.  And, having then bared his soul, the nominee must nominate 15 other blogs for the great honor of the playing confession on the web.


We once called these things chain letters.  But this is the age of full frontal social networks.  So, here goes.


Because we are discussing secrets, I thought I would open my old FBI file, and pass on some of that information.  Of course, if you have read this blog for very long, you will know how to complete the sentences.


Subject:


1.  Has been married X times.  When asked by his then-girlfriend, X  XX: "When the leaders of your planet sent you here, did they tell you people had feelings?," his answer was: "XX."


2.  Was assigned as an XXXXX of the XXXXXXXXXXX XX XXX XXX XXXXX between 1973 and 1974 while living in Greece.


3.  Became a member of the XXXXXXXXXX Party in 1967.


4.  Was placed on an IRA watch list by MI5 in 1976.  The accusation was XXXXX.


5.  Will not eat any foods beginning with the letter X – unless he does.


6.  Would like to write with the XXX of P.J. O’Rourke, but ends up sounding like the XXXXX XXXXXX of Andrea Dworkin.


7.  Owns a favorite t-shirt with the slogan: “I make stuff up.”


So, there are the secrets.


And now, for my nominees for the Versatility Blogger Award.  Kelly chose less than 15.  Because there are no criteria for nomination, I am simply going to make stuff up as I go along.  (You may have already caught that.)


I was simply going to nominate all of the blogs in my roll on the right.  And there would have been nothing wrong with that.  After all, they are there for a reason.


But I will stick with two:


honduras gumbo -- When Mexico gets me down, I realize I could be living in Honduras.  Laurie’s faith always makes it better.


the unseen moon -- Felipe writes ten times better than most of us.  And I know he will not allow himself to get sucked into this.


Please note, we are all “nominees.”  Not “winners.”


I suspect it is a bit like everyone getting a little trophy in Third Grade soccer.