did you ever wonder --

who designs bathrooms in expensive hotels?

You know the places I mean.  You spend $500 a night for a place to sleep.  You would think hotel designers would spend most of their time working out the best sleep formula for weary travelers.

Then you wander into the bathroom.  And it looks as if a Japanese artist with a good deal of taste and an advanced case of OCD was turned loose in there.

Little bottles of lotions are lined up like backup singers with a bevy of soloists -- the pleather ice bucket, the hair dryer in a canvas bag, the plant being tortured in near Arctic midnight conditions.

But those little bottles always catch my attention.  So tiny.  So artistic.  And so dysfunctional.

Nancy tells me that the unprofessional French-sounding brand of lotions I have been offered are very high quality.  I wouldn’t know.

The bottles look pretty.  But they are made of such hard plastic that it is possible to get only little one drop of shampoo out during a full shower cycle.  Physics is apparently a course not taught in designer school. 

Trying to squeeze thick honey through a pin hole simply does not work.  I found myself looking for the artfully-designed ballpeen hammer.

Here’s a suggestion.  Why not just have a big bottle of Head and Shoulders in the shower?  And just leave it there.  Like most people’s bathrooms.

And let the artists get back to designing women’s shoes.