pirates of the arabian

Some blogs write themselves.  When they do, I merely act as a transport mechanism.

Every day, we receive a Cruise Compass that tells us about the activities for the day.  Often with as many supplements as a Sunday newspaper.

Our Day 1 Compass contained an interesting letter signed by the captain -- and obviously authored by some lawyer back in Miami.

After a chirppy greeting, the letter gets down to its point.  We will be entering waters infested with pirates.  Those are my words.  The lawyers use the far more passive “pirate activity has occurred in the Gulf of Aden.”

Now, anyone who has read the news knows this is not -- news.  And the letter attempts to reassure the passengers after scaring the doubloons out of us.

”I don’t expect to experience any problems.”  And you just know there is a “but” following that cheerful expectation.  And there is.

The captain tells us we are a fast ship and we have “more security staff” than Jack Sparrow’s impersonators have.  Images of SEALS dance in the head.

And there is more “but.”  If curious fishing boats approach us, we will warn them off.  With what?  I was hoping for something about cannons in that sentence.  But apparently, zigging and zagging is a frightening enough sight.

And for a more comforting note, while we are in the Gulf of Aden, all of the balcony cabins must follow London Blitz blackout conditions.  Knowing cruisers compliance with rules, the letter warns the Bridge will be monitoring for full compliance.

After receiving our pre-violation scolding, the captain then lifts our spirits by telling us if he uses the code word “Operation Safe Haven,” all of the passengers in outside cabins (even those who were obedient drape closers) are to huddle in the hallway. 

What happened to “repel the boarders?”  But I guess that is a job for the security staff.  And considering the average age of my fellow passengers (including me), I am not certain hand-to-hand combat would be the wisest option.

On past cruises, passengers have grumped about the lifeboat drill.  But ever since the sinking of two or three cruise ships, passengers pay far closer attention to details -- such as, how does that little light work.

Apparently, we are all going to get to participate in an “Operation Safe Haven” drill on 9 May.  I am placing good money on a bet that people will listen real close to it.

Of course, it would have been far more interesting if the company had posted this notice on its website BEFORE flogging this sold-out cruise.  I suspect there may have been a few more vacant cabins.

As for me, an early announcement would have merely got my fifth grade blood running.  Pirates and Petra on the same cruise?  Who could ask for anything more?