sailing with the swedish chef

Every day at noon, the ship’s captain breaks into our trough-fest with his daily announcement.

I think the announcement is about our position, our speed, the condition of the sea, the nearest land, and whether or not we need to change our clocks (something we have done frequently on this cruise).  He also tells a joke.  I think.

All those “I think”s are because I am never quite certain what he is saying.  I am rather good with slashing through the jungle of accents.  But the captain regularly defeats me.

I am convinced the Swedish Chef is commanding our ship.  And that is not a bad thing.  He was easily my favorite Muppet.  But “chicky in da baskit” or "bork bork bork" is far more humorous on television than on the bridge.

Of course, our captain is not the Swedish Chef.  He is Frank Martinsen.  Not even Swedish.  He is Norwegian.  And one of the star captains of Royal Caribbean. 

In 2002 he was the youngest captain in the fleet.  The specificity of the claim merely underlines the fact that he no longer is.  It is a little bit like being billed “former child star.”

But I know we are in good hands.  After all, the Swedish Chef was the only Muppet with human hands.

Just once, though, I would like Captain Martinsen to appear on stage in costume.