the ball is in play

You girls may want to take a break. The boys and I are going to have a chat.

Of course, you all are free to listen in.

In my travels, I have encountered some interesting techniques to entertain men while they tend to the necessary business of emptying their bladders.

Guys regularly encounter the most common diversion. Usually, in sports bars. Portions of the newspaper are posted at eye level to allow a quick read while doing what needs to be done. I have seen several variations on this. Magazine articles. Newsletters. Even an occasional campaign piece.

All are rather clever because they are utilitarian. You can learn something simply by visiting the men's room.

The most irritating development has been the appearance of advertisements. It makes using a urinal no more interesting than sitting in a bus reading the commercial cards.

The most interesting device i had encountered was in the officers/NCO club in Greece. Someone had tacked a mimeographed sheet above the urinals giving nicknames to particular -- I guess you would call it styles. "The Thunderer" was my favorite.

But something far more clever has eased The Thunderer off of the front page. it has been replaced by the novel accessory I discovered in each urinal at a shopping center in San Miguel de Allende. It combines necessity with the Mexican love of football.

I guess the object is to create a stream sufficient to put the ball in the net. But, like some Sisyphean curse, the ball merely spins and spins. Never making a GOAAAAAAAAALLLLLLL!!!!!

Boys never grow up. I guess that is why we have toys in our restrooms.

OK, Steve. You told us you were going to tell us about the music that has drawn you to San Miguel de Allende. Instead, you give us two toilet jokes. When are you going to get off the pot?

Soon. I promise. Soon.

I attended my third concert tonight. Concerts four and five are tomorrow. I think I have enough material to share with you.

And I will. Eventually.