Before you react, let me tell you what this is all about.
My Brit-Canadian friend Trevor sent me an email earlier this week informing me that I must immediately desist from wearing my prized new Prince Edward Island t-shirt (comparing roles with prince frederick).
"The Queen, our head of state, is greatly distressed that you are masquerading as one of her loyal Canadian subjects. She is fully aware that part of your family kicked out her Hanoverian great great great great grandfather (though that many 'greats" associated with George III is over-egging the custard). Your claim of Canadian genes is a transparent ruse. I could just as easily (and probably far more accurately according to the Venerable Bede) claim to be a Jute.
"Forthwith, you shall swap out your delusional notions and don the t-shirt I will ship to you, at Her majesty's request, this afternoon. The 'at least' part on the slogan on the t-shirt smacks of argumentativeness. But you, as a barrister, are no stranger to that particular peccadillo.
"You would be well to remember that Her Majesty maintains The Tower for such miscreants as you.
"I am, indignant, but helpful,
"Trevor."
It might help if you knew a little bit more about Trevor. We have been friends since the early 1970s when we were at Oxford together; he was an undergraduate while I was working on my master's in International Relations.
He was one of those upper middle class public school boys (Harrow, I think) who had decided to join the other side in the political class struggle. We met at a Young Conservative-Young Communist mixer (Trevor was in the latter group) -- back in the day when people of opposing viewpoints actually had conversations with one another. We became good friends and have kept in contact since.
He went on to medical school and practiced in London up until the advent of the election of the Tony Blair government. Somewhere along the line, he trod the path that Robert Bork and James Burnham took before him from communist to being men of the right.
For some illogical reason, he migrated to Canada to work as a doctor and took up citizenship. A couple of years working in the Canadian health system convinced him to abandon medicine and to become, of all things, an investment counselor. Financially, it turned out to be a very lucrative move for him.
But all of that spatial and political migration did not change his public school boy humor. He is the type of guy who saw nothing inappropriate in sending me a "I'm not gay, but 20 bucks is 20 bucks" t-shirt and expected me to wear it in public. For some reason, I didn't.
I responded to his offer of a second t-shirt. "Please inform Her Majesty that I have a perfectly good Canadian t-shirt that I will continue to wear in Her little Canadian colonial outpost of Melaque.
"If you send the t-shirt, it will remain unworn and closeted with the revenue-raising t-shirt you previously sent me. I will not wear it for three reasons.
"First, without knowing your particular sense of humor (please note the appropriate spelling), the message would not display the subtle level of sarcasm you would like it to bear.
"Second, you are falling into the same trap I encounter from both Americans and Canadians who conflate the doings of one's government or having some perceived national stereotype as applying to individuals.
"You were rightly offended when the Chinese government referred to Canada as a 'puny' country that does not know how to respect the dignity of important people. I wondered what the Chinese meant by that. If Canada had followed the Chinese model, Meng Wanzhou would have been nabbed, given a show trial, and executed. But maybe that is not what China meant.
"National conversations are toxic enough without me feeding the flames.
"Third, as clever as you see the slogan, it really does not reflect a hint of how I feel about your new homeland. Unlike you, I would not choose to move to Canada. But only because, for me, it would be a family reverse migration. I am keeping the tradition alive by moving south just as they did. Now, my son will be forced to choose between Honduras or Chile to keep the family tradition alive.
"Maybe you can send the t-shirt to President Xi. It would be more fitting.
"As always, appropriately clothed, I am
"S."
So, I will not be wearing a t-shirt that would be a great ice-breaker to have discussions about national identities. But, we can have those without the Queen's generous offer.
I am preparing an escape plan from The Tower -- just in case.
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