walking on the hot side

I am a poseur. A sham. A fraud.

Not in everything, mind you. But I certainly am when I wear this t-shirt.

It commemorates The Bare Hot Chile Challenge 2019 in Barra de Navidad last month. There were several contestants who took on increasing degrees of the Scoville scale  for the questionable title of Guy with the Steel Gut.  Hot food. Hot drinks.

I was not one of the contestants. So, wearing it opens me to same moral harangues heaped on soldiers who wear medals they never earned. But, in my defense, I have been conducting my own personal challenge at the house.

Bare Essentials, the little shop down the street that specializes in, among other things, hot peppers, was the source of the challenge's chilies. I love spicy food. So, after Giovanni described the six grades of salsa he had concocted from serranos up to Carolina reapers, I bought a jar of each (going bare).

For the past three weeks, I have been experimenting with the salsas in soups and Indian, Korean, Mexican, and fusion dishes. None of the jars has yet to disappoint me.

So, when Giovanni and Maricarmen started selling souvenir t-shirts from the challenge, I bought one. And, inevitably, when I wear it, people ask me if I participated. They always seem disappointed when I say no.

I have come up with a solution. Even though truth is a constant, facts are malleable things. I now tell them: "Yes. Every day at my house." And that gets the conversation rolling.

I wear the t-shirt on my daily walks. And, even though I usually do not stop to chat when I am in exercise mode, if you want to ask about my t-shirt, I will gladly chat.

After all, I do not want to be a complete fraud.

If you wish to join me in scam city, Bare Essentials still has more of the t-shirts to outfit us band of Professor Harold Hills. And pick up a couple of jars of salsa while you are there. It will add a patina of authenticity.