playing the security lottery

I am a travel addict.

On Tuesday I fled south to Mexico to get away from the television-fueled hysteria in The States.

There is an odd dynamic when rational information that sounds level-headed, when read in a newspaper, becomes the stuff of spontaneous combustion when presented on television. Maybe it's the immediacy of television. Or maybe it is that I-am-about-to-burst-a-lung tone that television news presenters of all stripes have adopted.

Whatever it is, I am happy to be away from it. The same information in my morning newspaper is still concerning, but I no longer feel that the coronavirus asteroid is going to hit Earth and wipe out us latter-day dinosaurs.

But the travel itch has already started. I feel the need to be on the road. There was an impetus for my newly-lighted urge. Two, actually.

Last night, my Colombian cousin posted a beautiful sunsetfrom Cozumel. Dan and Patti, the cousins with whom I spent almost a month traveling the roads of southern Mexico five years ago, have settled there for a spell. The photograph and the memory of our road trip made me start thinking. Why not a trip to Cozumel while they are there. I have not been to the island since -- well, well before I moved to Mexico.

The second prod came in the form of a notice from the immigration service. The one in The States, not the one just down the road a piece.

Even though I do love travel, there are two irritations of air travel to The States or domestically. Immigration lines and security lines. You might notice what those two have in common. They are not only irritating. Sometimes, they are also inconvenient.

The greatest inconvenience is missing flights because of immigration lines. My port of entry from Mexico is almost always Los Angeles. Twice I have missed a connecting flight when multiple international flights arrived at almost the same time -- creating hour-long lines at immigration.

The security lines at Los Angeles are long, but not as inconvenient as those in Seattle. And I often have to deal with both on my trips to Oregon.

In the past, that was not a problem. For some reason I do not understand, my boarding pass has been marked TSA Pre-Check for years. The designation makes a difference. If I go through the pre-check line, I do not need to dump out all of my electronic devices from my backpack or perform a mini-strip starting with my shoes. And the pre-check line is always efficient because most of the flyers perform the routine regularly.

There has long been a simple solution -- a Global Entry card. It will give me TSA Pre-check on my flights and will allow me to pass through immigration in a truncated line.

So, if it is such a simple solution, why have I not signed up for it? Certainly, I fly enough to justify the $100 application fee.

The answer is just as simple as the solution. One summer day in the 1990s, I was involved in an immigration violation. The captain of our two-week sailing jaunt in the Gulf Islands of British Columbia and the San Juan Islands of Washington failed to make his first stop at immigration and customs after crossing over from Canada. We were all initially fined $10,000.

To qualify for Global Entry status, an applicant's past must be clear of all life's transgressions. I doubt most strict Puritans of Massachusetts Bay Colony could have qualified. That immigration fine has kept me from applying in the past.

But, after two excruciatingly inefficient security checks on this last trip, I decided to bite the bullet. I applied online for the Global Entry designation while I was at the Redmond airport.

Last night, just after I saw Patti's Cozumel photograph, an email arrived informing me my application has been tentatively approved. I now need to set up an interview with immigration at an office at one of several American airports. And soon.

The email dropped Cozumel to second place. I started looking at flights to Los Angeles on a Wednesday for a Thursday immigration appointment and a return to Mexico on Saturday.

That was easier said than done. The flights are heavily booked. Canadians are heading north and Mexican-American families are heading south for Spring vacation. And, of course, there is the Trump-AMLO posturing of who is going to close the border first.

Cozumel was starting to look a lot better.

I do have certain qualms about Global Entry. I know several people who tout their privilege as if they were gas station royalty. "After all, we do live in a double-wide at the mobile home park."

I ran into one of their ilk in Singapore. A man and his wife were pushing ahead in line shouting all the way: "Global Entry. Global Entry." A Singapore immigration official told them to go to the back of the line. The man responded: "You have to let us through. We have Global Entry." The official responded firmly, but genially: "No. You have to go to the back of the line. Your card is no good here."

Nor did Singapore need a special card. Immigration there, like most governmental services, are eerily efficient -- like a cross between Sweden and Mussolini Italy.

Depending on how long travel is disrupted because of the coronavirus, I will probably be well-served by staying inside the borders of Mexico. I have not checked on the domestic flights yet, but I suspect northern Spring break and the possibility of Mexican university closures may fill seats heading to Mexico's largest island in the Caribbean.

If I do go, I will need to return here before the semana santa crowds start arriving. My itch is not quite that intese to battle beach-bound Mexicans.

Or I could just hunker down here. And that is not very likely to happen.