Wednesday, April 22, 2020

acts of kindness prevent a downward spiral from solitude to loneliness


The headline is not mine. It is from the current edition of The Economist -- and, for Mexpatriate, it is timely.

Yesterday we discussed the necessity of relief operations when an economic system stops working (when helping hurts -- and helps). That relief can come in various forms -- as it has here. With a dynamic mixture of individual, group, and government contributions.

We tend to think of relief primarily as cash or food contributions. We forget that there are other acts of kindness that we can perform for one another that do far more to help us cope during isolation periods.

The Economist article I read yesterday discussed that very point in detail. Studies have shown that loneliness can be as bad for a person's health as being obese and being a moderate smoker. It is not just bad psychologically; it has physical effects on the body. Loneliness can leave a person more susceptible to viral infections, and it can increase inflammation.

That same study indicates these physiological changes in the body cannot be immediately switched off when the circumstances of isolation change. Even when socialization returns, the physical damage remains.

I will let you read the article for yourself for a more detailed scientific description. I have posted a copy of it on my Facebook page.

Scientists have long-known of the debiliatory effects of loneliness on the body. But there was an interesting twist added this year at the
 conference of the Society for Personality and Social Psychology. New studies have shown asking lonely people to perform acts of kindness to others significantly reduced the offerer’s feelings of loneliness. As expected, the physiological changes in that person's body lessened. That seems to comport with common sense. Thinking of others, pushes loneliness aside.

The preliminary results of a second -- and more timely -- study were also presented. That study showed that acts of kindness need not be performed face-to-face to have a positive effect on alleviating loneliness and its physical effects on the body. Writing a thank-you note or donating to a cause on-line had an equally positive effect as in-person interactions.

One of the toxic effects of this virus is that many of us treat everyone else as if they were Typhoid Mary. We have all read similar comments by acquaintances.  After all, the attitude is the very foundation of social-distancing and self-isolation. The danger is that we will confuse people with the disease.

Kindness is an end in itself. But it also has physical benefits for both the giver and the receiver.

Write those thank-you notes. Donate to causes you believe will be beneficial. Send flowers to someone who is home alone -- or call them to say you are thinking of them and ask if they need anything. If you are up north, call or e-mail your Mexican friends and let them know you care.

In the same vein, calling a truce on the rather disturbing epidemic of judgmentalism would probably benefit us all.

For me, sharing these essays with you is one method I use to keep on an even keel. And this is a perfect moment for me to thank all of you for letting me stay in a form of isolation while avoiding loneliness.

I hope to see all of you on the other side.

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