enjoying time, rather than counting it

I have been a bit testy lately.

Even though Mexico keeps teaching me the value of the virtue of patience, it is one of those lessons that requires constant tutoring. And, if my experiences lately are an accurate sample of life in 2021, I am not alone on the Good Ship Pop-off-my-top.

A couple of weeks ago, I was dining with a friend at one of my regular restaurants noted for its friendly staff, stunning view, and good food. A combination that makes dining not merely pleasant, but something to look forward to.

A party of four northern tourists sat down at the table next to me. The waiter (let's call him Enrique) took their drink order. It was obvious that they had already been sampling a good deal of what Mexico offers in bottled form.

I returned to my reading while I waited for my food. It was a busy night and I know from eating in restaurants here that the experience is not based on time, it is based on relishing each moment. I had not even noticed that twenty minutes had passed since I ordered.

One of the women at the other table had noticed. When Enrique returned, he asked if they needed anything more, she yelled at him: "What I need is my fucking food."

It was like one of those moments in television costume dramas where all of the white-tied gentlemen at a dinner party stand to confront outrageous behavior. I was about half-way out of my chair, when Enrique deftly deflected the attack with a joke. It also helped that the other people at the table calmed her down.

When I paid my bill at the register, I complimented Enrique on his technique of de-escalating the situation. He responded: "It's OK. We all know white people can't hold their liquor." Ironic wit of that quality is a pleasure to behold.

I am not certain from whence this miasma of incivility springs. There are certainly plenty of theories, and I am suspicious of most of them because they inevitably involve the subtle whiff of bigotry that the poisoned atmosphere is caused by some group other than the one the speaker is a member of.  

When I travel north on my monthly trips, I can feel it almost everywhere I go. An underlying tension that often erupts into violence. I even feel it myself when boarding airplanes. A sense of anxious irritation while being cattle-herded onto the airplane.

During the past year over 5000 instances of unruly conduct on airplanes were reported to the Federal Aviation Administration. We have all read the newspaper stories of passengers punching, brutalizing, harassing, and threatening flight attendants who are doing their best to enforce rules not of their making. I know I have witnessed it. 

Now, I am not saying that the drunk woman with the sailor vocabulary in the restaurant was quite that egregious. For a good reason. Omnes metaphorae claudicante -- if my high school Latin serves me well.* All metaphors limp. However, for Enrique, there was no distinction. He stoically accepted the abuse as part of his job.

The restaurants here all do outstanding jobs in what they see as their mission. They want the people who come here to have a pleasant experience -- while the restaurants deal with some of their infrastructure limitations, such as kitchen size.

We northerners are far more constrained by numbers than are our Mexican neighbors. That is evident to me when I dine with mixed company. From the moment we sit down, a good portion of northerners will start looking around anxiously and will then start a litany of when the menus, the food, and the bill are going to arrive, while the Mexicans are simply enjoying the experience of sharing relationships.

As I said earlier, Mexico continually tutors me on the virtue of patience. It is a teacher that we could all listen to.

I always enjoy watching people come here and immerse themselves in the joys of what this area offers. Most do that. Most of the time. But we are all subject to falling into the trap of looking for what we can criticize in our next Yelp review.

Resist the temptation. The cooks, wait staff, and owners of the restaurants here are offering you a pleasant morning, afternoon, and night out.

Take them up on the offer. I certainly am going to.   


* -- If my rusty Latin is incorrect, I am certain one of you classic scholars will correct it.