mystery in the kitchen

Several readers have asked me to write about some of my food disasters in my kitchen.

I have had more than a few. My lunch this afternoon was a perfect example.

To make my telling of the tale a little more interesting, I will sprinkle clues here and there as to why my Mexican porcupine meatballs are not going to go on my Things To Try Again list. It will be up to you to crack the mystery.

Almost everyone likes porcupine meatballs -- those orbs of ground animal flesh spiked with rice. And like all meatball recipes, they are a perfect stage to experiment with the sauce they swim in. Traditionally, they are flavored by a subtly-seasoned tomato sauce. But I have had them in beef gravy, barbeque sauce, and even a well-executed wasabi-ginger topping.

Because my kitchen is in Mexico, I try to add some Mexican flavors to take the meatballs where no meatball, in this case, has gone before.

Most porcupine meatballs start with hamburger, long-grain white rice, and parsley. I altered that trio with ground pork (because Mexican pork is superb, especially ground), arborio rice (the type you would use in a good-quality risotto), and (of course) cilantro. Eggs and onion rounded out the meatballs.

For the sauce, I decided to wander down tomato lane. I had just found some vine-ripened romas. Usually, I cannot find flavorful tomatoes here. These looked delicious, and would form the basis for the sauce. Along with a serrano and an habanero. I said the dish was going to be Mexican. Or Mexican-ish. 

Herbs and spices would pull the dish together. Oregano and tomatoes are a natural combination here in Mexico, as they are elsewhere. But I wanted to use some spicy paprika, cinnamon, and ground cloves to complement the pork, and oregano is not the best companion with those spices. Instead, I opted for the Mexican staple -- cumin. (Had I really thought out this dish, I would have added roasted cumin seeds to the meatball mixture.)

For some reason, this seemed to be the perfect dish to cook in my Instant Pot. Like most new small appliances, I used my Instant Pot once or twice a week when I first bought it. It has now sat orphaned on a kitchen shelf for several months -- for no particular reason. So, I pressed it into service this afternoon.

Urvashi Pitre, the queen of Instant Pot cooking, taught me an umami trick. When cooking with pork, the addition of a mixture of fish sauce and honey will add that elusive fifth taste. I considered adding my own umami mixture (worcestershire sauce and fish sauce), but I let the moment pass unrealized.

A half hour later, I was tasting my first sample of Mexican porcupine meatballs. There is no hiding the fact that I was disappointed. They were not quite a culinary disaster, but they were not a success, either. The best description? The dish was a bit flat.

OK, culinary sleuths. This is your opportunity to shine. You have a list of clues and a mystery to solve. Why did I not like my meatballs?

One additional hint. Agatha Christie readers should see right through this.

The page is yours.