Life is made up of two types of stupid decisions.
We fall into the first type out of ignorance because we lack information before we act.
The second type is far more perverse. We act with full knowledge that what we are about to do will almost certainly qualify us as a nominee for this year's Darwin Awards.
Yesterday was a type two stupid day for me.
I was putting away the last few items from my trips north and south over the past month when it occurred to me that I was in a time bind. I had worn a set of clothes on the cruise that now required dry cleaning. The only dry cleaner around here is in Manzanillo.
I do not have very many items in my closet that require dry cleaning. So, I do not regularly take clothes to Manzanillo. Instead, I usually make a pile and wait until it is large enough to justify the trip.
Then, it hit me. I could not wait. I needed the clothes for Christmas dinner. And, even though my head still thinks this is mid-November, the dinner is just a week away. That meant a drive to Manzanillo at a time when our coastal highway is best avoided.
Let me explain. The road between my house and Manzanillo is the main north-south arterial on Mexico's Pacific coast. It serves the same purpose as I-5 in California. Now, imagine that purpose squeezed onto a rural two-lane California road. There you have it. Mexico Highway 200.
The highway is usually busy with farm equipment, buses, trucks, tourists, horses, burros. That is on a normal day. But these are not normal days.
School has just let out for Christmas break. One of the joys of Mexican families is spending time at the beach during Christmas. So, Highway 200 is now clogged with cars bringing the recreation-minded to our little holiday-magnet.
It usually takes me about 35 minutes to drive from my house to the La Comer parking lot in Manzanillo. Yesterday, it took an hour and 10 minutes.
On a normal day, I pass most of the traffic on our 2-lane highway. Yesterday, I was stuck behind a convoy of at least 20 vehicles (I could not see the front of the line to get an accurate count). There was no passing to be found because the line of traffic heading north was just as long.
I had originally planned on buying a few grocery items while I had access to the big box stores. But I changed my mind when I saw the checkout lines at Walmart. With most of the cashier lines open, the file of shopping carts backed up into the clothing section blocking easy passage.
Instead, I simply dropped off my dry cleaning and returned home at the same plodding pace as when I drove down.
You probably see where this is going. If I need my clothes for a Wednesday dinner, and I dropped them off only yesterday, isn't there one step I still need to accomplish?
Yes, there is. And it is not a pretty answer.
The dry cleaner is busy with other people who also have holiday emergencies. The earliest I can get my clothes back is 5:30 on Friday afternoon. The Friday of the weekend everyone who is not already in Melaque will be gathering the brood and packing them into the sleigh to grandma's house.
It is fortunate that I was just subjected to Los Angeles traffic jams. On Friday, I will be grateful that I only have to deal with Christmas-in-Manzanillo traffic and not the La Brea tar pits, instead.
In truth, I do not mind the crowds. Even though my people do not celebrate Christmas, I like the energy the Mexican tourists generate in town. I especially like the income they generate for our little villages by the sea. Without them spending their time and money here on weekends and during semana santa, summer vacations, and, yes, Christmas, Melaque and Barra de Navidad would be hard pressed to survive.
All of that reminded me of one of those silly Christmas songs that once paid the piper on Broadway. So, here is a thought for this Christmas season.
"For we need a little music,
Need a little laughter,
Need a little singing
Ringing through the rafter,
And we need a little snappy
'Happy ever after,'
Need a little Christmas now."
Before she was putting murderers in prison, Angela Lansbury was slicing up Jerry Herman's lyrics at the Winter Garden Theater. If I am handing out gifts, why not give you the whole thing?
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