Monday, January 28, 2008

board to tears



I have signed up with several Mexico message boards over the last few months. This is my first experience with this particular medium. I suspect that most blog readers know what message boards are. You find a topic of interest and share information with supposedly like-minded people. Something like a group mail box.


What I have discovered is that each group tends to have its own personality – dependent on the membership. For instance, almost every Mexican town has its message board. These boards have a very chatty, in-group feel to them. You really need to live in the community to understand the exchanges – exchanges that generally have the feel of a Methodist social (even though “naughty” topics -- such as, the best “gentlemen’s” club -- creep in now and then, to everyone’s giggling delight).


Now and then I run into a local group that has a broader scope on what it means to live in Mexico. There are even philosophical discussions on etiquette, anthropology, or history. These boards often have the faint smell of cherry pipe tobacco in a faculty lounge. One of my favorite forums in this category is Veracruz Forum – a witty, amiable group always ready to make a point and share insights.


But, like all communities, there tend to be seedy bars where community members hang out because they probably have trouble fitting into other social environments. I belong to two message boards that fall into this category. They tend to attract people who believe that they know everything, but, in truth, have little experience to share with others.


Let me give an example. A woman wrote a very timid posting indicating that she was moving to Mexico with her handicapped husband, but she had certain fears for her safety. Obviously, what she needed to hear was that the city she was moving to was safer than most American cities and that with the usual cautions that people use in their lives, she would be fine. Instead, she got a series of stories about beatings, robberies, kidnappings, and physical disfigurement – all of which had either happened to the tellers or to their very close personal friends and neighbors. Most of the stories sounded as if the tellers had missed out on a couple days of medication.


I felt sorry for the story tellers. They obviously have control issues in their own lives. But I felt even worse for the woman who had asked the question. She had stumbled into the local dive thinking she was in the reference library.


And I guess that is the point of this posting. My good friend Andee of Life in Chacala was fond of saying: “If you can help someone out – why not?” That is why I enjoy all of the comments posted here. They are meant to be helpful and informative. And when the comments are also witty – even better.


Why not? Indeed.

5 comments:

Alan said...

Steve, I am not sure that your picture is what is meant by the laying on of hands, but at least you look healthy and happy. If you want "witty" you will have to look for Mike!

Michael Dickson said...

I have been a member of a number of message boards (forums) regarding Mexico, and I have mostly abandoned them.

The anonymity of the internet seems to bring out the worst in people, frequently.

A requirement to use one´s actual name would calm things down a bit, I think.

Steve Cotton said...

Michael -- I agree that the anonimity creates a diffreent atmosphere. But there must be something else. Bloggers, as a rule, tend to be more thoughtful about their postings. It may be the difference between a journalist and a guy who likes to write on bathroom walls -- not that the two are exclusive.

Al -- I was hoping to convey the sense of community in that picture. Now that I look closer, it does appear that I am enjoying myself far too much.

Anonymous said...

Actually, I'd be more worried about being disabled in Mexico than victim of crime.

Mexico seems like a terrible place for the disabled. From 16" curb heights in places, to broken sidewalks filled with random holes and missing manhole covers, and the drivers' complete disregard of pedestrians, it would seem to me that this woman was worrying about the wrong thing.

That said, crime happens, and there's plenty of horrific crimes in Mexico. And in the U.S.

Relating horrifying stories may seem cruel, but forewarned is forearmed. I think it'd be more of a disservice to say everything's fine when it probably isn't.

The question "how safe is Mexico?" is about as easily answered as "how safe is the U.S.?" Ask a Japanese person, and they'll think the U.S. is a violent and dangerous place. Ask an Iraqi and he'll say it's incredibly safe. Depends on your perspective.

Regards,

Kim G
Boston, MA

Steve Cotton said...

Kim --

I agree. I do not know how people with handicaps manage to avoid the numerous walking traps on Mexican streets. Even the perfectly healthy need to be constantly alert. My mother just returned from Mazatlán where she witnessed several tourist falls on sidewalks -- including her own. I seldom see handicapped Mexicans on the streets. Maybe that is why. There is no way to navigate a usual trip to the store.

As for crime, I agree that being honest and open is the best approach. But the message boards appear to be populated with conrtibutors who have the emotional maturity of 8-year old boys. They love to scare people with tales of severed fingers and serial rapes in the night.

You are correct: crime is everywhere. If you believe that everyone is trying to steal your worldy goods and virtue in San Diego, you will believe that a new group of people will do the same thing in Puerto Vallarta. Thus, the title of my blog. I do not believe that life in Mexico will be perfect (nor will it be horrendous). I am taking who I am with me. I will simply live that life in a new location -- facing nwe circumstances. But the circumstances are not my life.