"It's better to spend money like there's no tomorrow than to spend tonight like there's no money."
~ P.J. O'Rourke
Mothers and dogs. Well, at least, my Mom and my dog.
My brother and I finally had a serious conversation about how we can help Mom to make the decisions she needs to make about: 1) whether to keep running her real estate business; 2) where she should live; and 3) how she will handle her financial needs. Following the advice of several of you, we are going to leave the decisions to her. We will be there merely to help facilitate the decisions -- and to put more cash on the table.
All of this will happen when she returns from Mexico. She swings back and forth from loving Mexico to fearing Mexico. I doubt she would ever feel comfortable living there full time.
I thought I was going to have a bad news report concerning the dog. When I came home from work tonight, Jiggs had trouble supporting himself on his rear left leg. I was positive that the nerve in that leg had been entrapped in his damaged vertebrae. It was almost as if he could not tell if his foot was touching the ground.
We started on a walk, but he fell several times. So I took him back to the house where he started licking his leg. Then I noticed the problem on the carpet: a sweetgum seed pod. Apparently, it was stuck in his paw, but he managed to pull it loose.
And there is the lesson. I have pulled seed pods out of his paws many times over the past 12 years. His actions were always the same as they were tonight. But I have allowed my worries about his declining health to blind me to a reality I need to learn again and again: stop worrying that the worst will happen; life is far more mundane than that. That is true for both Mom and Jiggs. The relationship matters. All the other issues will resolve themselves -- with a helping hand to remove the burrs.
5 comments:
It is easier to do too much for aging parents than not enough - as for Jiggs, basically the same.
My friend Marvin who lives in Xalapa brought his mom out here for the last years of her life.
From what I could tell she really liked it and got some great care and friendship that Marvin probably could not have afforded in the States.
I think if you find a place to settle in Mexico, Mom would be great to have on the scene and she might surprise you as to how much she enjoys being here and with her son.
Marvin's mom did have her own place btw.
Juan Calypso
Steve, Words to the wise from a sage "No plan originated by another will be as sympathetically handled as ones own plan."--Conrad H. Lanza (Napoleon and Modern Warfare) When Moms ask for advice, it is usually well received. When given before she asks, is sort of like asking a question of a witness, without listening to the witness. Usually disaster follows. I loved your comment "we are going to leave the decisions to her". If she is a Cotton, I doubt you have any other choice!
Al --
Your characterization of my mother's decision gene is absolutely point on. Darrel and I decided that we can set out the options for her, give our advice, and then let her make the choice. Any other way will lead to disaster.
Worrying and especially worrying about and taking on other people's responsibilities is that a family trait? Your cousin, my mother, is a pro at it.
Hmm, Cory. Come to think of it, maybe we are just a group of frustrated controllers. There was the famous biscuit incident -- I think I may have a topic for another posting.
Post a Comment