muling my way to mexico

“So, what do you miss most in Mexico?”

The question arises amongst we expatriates as often as urine test discussions in rest homes.  And even the most acclimated of us usually has some secret vice to disclose.

When I moved down four years ago, I packed the Escape with items I had heard were difficult to obtain in Mexico.  It turned out most of my booty was available in the big stores in Melaque.  Just a bit more expensive.

I learned an early lesson from that.  Almost everything is available in Mexico – for a price.  It is that modifier that leads a lot of my fellow expatriates to place exotica in the unavailable category.  We tend to be a “thrifty” lot.

But there are very few things I cannot buy here.  And if I can't find them, I simply do without.

When I head north, I indulge a few guilty pleasures.  But I notice the list is growing shorter with each trip.

On this trip, I slipped very few things past customs.  Salt water taffy.  Jelly beans.  Boar’s Head sliced pepperoni.  Tillamook pepperoni sticks (a gift from a Powers alumnus).  Carr’s water crackers.  Listerine (soft mint -- a flavor available nowhere in Mexico as far as I can tell).  A bottle of Melatonin.  Fusion razor blades (available, but at an incredibly high price; my Scots blood makes an appearance).

All of it fit into a small tool bag-sized tote.  I could have carried it on board but for Homeland Security’s phobia of all things liquid.

And one more item.

 

I bought a box of greeting cards.  Now that I am regular local postal customer, I have decided to revert to my old habit of mailing greeting cards.  It suits my Edwardian personality.

The problem is I cannot find any cards in Melaque – in Spanish, let alone in English.

One of the most common questions on our local message board is: “Is it legal to bring in [fill in the blank with your favorite, fish, meat, or beverage]?” 

It is, of course, the wrong question.  What the regulations allow is often irrelevant.  The question is: "Can I slip this past customs and not get embarrassed if I get caught?"

The answer to that question is: it merely depends on which inspector you get at which time of day.  And whether you carry more chutzpah than guilt around in your personality bag. 

Arguing legalities with a Mexican customs official is a sucker’s game.  Mexico is neither Canada nor Germany.

I have had pepperoni packets waved through on one trip and confiscated the next along with piles of school supplies.  Trying to figure it out will simply lead to a core logic meltdown.

As will choosing items to smuggle.  While writing this post, I was having my oil changed.  The price?  $700 (Mx) -- or about $53 (US).  Not a lot more than I once paid in The States.  But still a high figure. 

The cost, though, was not in the service.  That was only $50 (Mx) -- or $3.78 (US).  It was the cost of the oil and parts:

• $6 (US) for each quart of oil
• Almost $9 (US) for an air filter
• But only $4.15 (US) for an oil filter

It has been some time since I purchased oil at GI Joe's.  But my memory is that it was less than $6 a quart.

On the other hand, that is exactly the type of item I am not going to schlep across the border in my airline luggage.  It simply goes in the luxury category.

So, what do I miss the most?  Not much. 

And what I miss, I can put in the wistful memory category -- along with a parade of lost loves.

P.S. -- If all goes well, I am on the road to San Miguel de Allende when you read this.  I needed an additional rest day to get the truck -- and me -- ready for my eight-hour trek to the highlands.